Shedding tears isn’t something that I do often.  I did at least twice today (Sunday.) 

Having the privilege to preach again was a great experience.  I slept very little on Saturday night because I had so much on my mind.  It reminded me of when I was 10 years old and I knew Dad was taking me fishing early the next morning.  I had that kind of excitement about this morning.

Early this morning I prayed, “Lord, let some soul come to You today.”

This morning was an amazing morning.  Several people came forward and made commitments to the Lord.  Many of those were first time commitments, including my niece, a teenager, and some young adults.

38 years ago this fall my oldest sister was the first person to walk the aisle during my first revival.  Today her daughter walked the aisle and gave her heart to Jesus.  Tears of joy streamed down my face when I looked up and saw her coming to Jesus.  Those tears continued as I looked around and saw others making commitments to our Lord.

When church was finally over and everyone had left,  I was alone in the sanctuary and I stopped and thanked the Lord.  Wow.  Had He done far more than I had asked.

I had shared during the sermon that God had given me a download the day before about a passage of scripture to use.  A good friend came by last week and gave the download idea.

So on the way home from church God gave me another download.  It was as real as any time God has spoken to me.  One of the prayers my mom never saw answered was for my niece, her granddaughter, to come to know Jesus in a personal way.

The Bible tells us that the only time the angels rejoice is when a lost person comes home.  I never had that figured out until this afternoon in the car.  Contrary to what others believe, I do not believe our loved ones are watching us.  How could heaven be a place where there is no more mourning or crying or pain if they could see this world?

So if mom can’t see what’s going on in this world, how would she know about her granddaughter?  Here is the download.  It is a marvelous picture.  Angels are ministering spirits that I believe are messengers.  This morning I could see my niece’s angel heading back to heaven to bring the news before the throne.  I could see the angel standing before the host of heaven.  Many angels were there calling out the names of people who had recently given their hearts to Jesus.  And in my mind I could see that when a person’s name was shouted in the courts of heaven, the angels and the redeemed would shout, “Glory! Amen! Hallelujah!”  Then another name was called, then another.  And then an angel called out Jessi Stumbo and I could see my mom’s face and I could see her falling down in worship to the Lamb.   I almost had to pull the car over because I couldn’t see for the tears.

As I have thought about that this afternoon I think there were other names mentioned from our small church this morning that brought Hallelujahs in heaven.  I have a feeling that there were some other grandparents who now know that their families will someday be complete in heaven.

Pain and suffering are worth it for a soul to be saved.  Jesus gave us the example.  What the enemy meant for evil, God used for His good.  Sometimes there aren’t answers to the why questions we ask.  Sometimes the answers are quite clear.  I see far more clearly today than I did yesterday.

We take so many little things for granted.  I wore real clothes for the first time in the last two days.  Somehow making a funeral home visit and a hospital visit in a pair of jogging pants and tennis shoes didn’t seem too appropriate. 

A baby is born in our church and a friend dies unexpectedly at 63 of a heart attack.  The cycles of life.

The surprised look on my friend’s wife’s face when we walked into the funeral home was worth the almost six hour roundtrip drive.  So was the look on the new mom’s face when I walked into her hospital room. 

Life is about relationships—ours with the Lord Jesus first and then with others.  That’s what Jesus said, isn’t it?  He summed up all of life with these two commands: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart….and love your neighbor as yourself.”  Yep.  Life is about relationships.  It isn’t about what you accumulate or what you attain.  It is about relationships.  Life sure would be better if we lived with that in mind.

Solomon wrote there is a time to be born and a time to die.  From my point of view what really matters is what we do between the two.  My friend, Mike, put his faith into action.  I am sure he heard, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”  He spent most of his life helping “the least of these.”

My times are in His hands.  So are yours.  Life is precious.  Lord, help me celebrate life, embrace life, cherish life, but Lord, help me never waste it.  Many a night I lie down and think, “Is what I have done today worth sacrificing a day of my life for?”

I got an email yesterday from a girl who was in my youth group some 30 years ago.  Every pastor ought to be blessed at some point in their ministry to get an email like that one.  What kind of impact do you have on a teenager?  We never really know, do we?  At least until someone tells us.  Tell someone today the impact they have had on your life.

The Lord willing, I plan to be back in the pulpit on Sunday.  It is my “back to church” day.  Lord, help me be a pastor warrior.  It is all about You.  May your grace be sufficient. 

How do people handle the struggles of life without the church?  Not nearly as easily as with the church, that’s for sure.

I slipped into Daybreak this morning after the children went to Children’s Church.  It wasn’t about me this morning.  It should never be.  I slipped in, listened to Chris lead worship, and Larry Filmalter to preach, and then slipped back out.

How sweet to worship with the Lord’s people.

God’s message through His servants this morning: By faith…and Great is Thy faithfulness.  There really isn’t any other way to live, is there?  Living by faith in the assurance that God is faithful regardless of what comes our way. 

Getting stronger.  I actually changed a burned out brake light on Teresa’s car this afternoon.  It was good to hold a power tool in my hand!

The surgeon from Mayo called late this week to see how I was doing.  I asked him if there was any more definitive word.  After a pause, he said, “They (pathologists) are calling it a fibroid tumor and believe that it is benign.”  I can go with that.

We are trying to increase the diet.  A scrambled egg tastes better than mashed potatoes which taste better than chicken broth.

Telling me to take it slowly is kind of like talking to the wall.  "Bulldog" is rarely a gear I go in.  As I have tried to begin to do some things, I am learning quickly that bulldog isn't a bad gear.   Please, don't pray for patience for me.  I have enough trials to develop my patience.   Please pray for wisdom and discernment about what to try to do when.

 

I have found that when the major challenges of life come that there is comforting assurance in the psalms.  I have also learned to turn to some of the great men of faith over the centuries.  Here is today’s reading from Charles Spurgeon’s daily journal.  I am not much for the old English language, but I am for the truth that is in it:

Perhaps, O tried soul, the Lord is doing this to develop thy graces. There are some of thy graces which would never be discovered if it were not for thy trials. Dost thou not know that thy faith never looks so grand in summer weather as it does in winter? Love is too often like a glow-worm, showing but little light except it be in the midst of surrounding darkness. Hope itself is like a star--not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity.

Good stuff. 

“Lord, let my love light shine in the darkness of this world.  It may be like the small, flickering light of a lightning bug on a summer's night, but the darkness has not and cannot overcome it.”

After the first two cancer surgeries I kept a journal.  Blogging is kind of like keeping a public journal.  Now that I am off the narcotics I may look back on some of the blogs I wrote and think, “Oh, my!”

For those of you who have read the blogs consistently you have had insights into my heart that you wouldn’t normally have.  Hopefully, seeing some of the things I have been feeling has helped some others.

Just a gem or two out of life for today:

1.) Strawberry ice cream is far better in the healing process that chicken broth.

2.) You know you are beginning to move around a bit more when you’ve sweat enough that you think, “Do I smell that bad?” 

3.) Showers are a great thing in the healing process, especially in light of 2.)

I had a really good friend stop by yesterday.  He’s a pastor of a church Daybreak helped start in Northern Kentucky.  I firmly believe in the priesthood of all believers.  We all have access to God and none of us has any better access.  I also believe we have different callings.  To have another pastor warrior take your hand and pray for you is a great thing.  He was able to pray like no one else yet.  Not because of a better connection, but because of a better understanding.

I think I have just coined a new phrase: pastor warrior.  I wanna be a pastor warrior—a loving shepherd who guards and protects his sheep.  That's the picture I have of Jesus and I wanna be like Jesus.

I have a feeling you want to be like Him, too.

Thanks for standing with me in this battle.

A couple of days home are good for the soul and the body. 

I am progressing, though far more slowly than would be my expectation! 

Some gems to ponder today:

How will the hair on my shaved arm know when to quit growing so it is the same length as the hair that wasn’t shaved?

It tells you something about life when you are looking forward to eating chicken broth.

A couple of weeks in the hospital messes up your sleeping habits.

A shower and a shave make you look better than you are.

In one of the previous blogs I shared about how the surgeries have not only bruised my body but they have bruised my heart and soul, too.  In these tough times of life it is then that we walk by faith regardless of what we feel.

The first night home I was lying in bed with some issues on my heart.  It was kind of like a double whammy.  The issues I was struggling with made my physical heart uneasy.  I don’t know what the lasting physical ramifications are of having been in Atrial Fibrillation, but I do know the mental ones!

I turned to the Lord, asking Him to calm my heart—in both senses of the word.  Finally with a somewhat weak, raspy voice I began to sing.  “My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine,” “Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine,” “Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is Your Name” and who knows how many others.  And the Presence of Jesus flooded my heart and soul.  The sweetness of His Presence was real again.  And I knew I was on the mend. I got on my knees to worship and pray.

Keep trusting and keep seeking His face.  He longs for intimacy with you, just like you do with Him.  He is there, regardless of what you feel.  The feelings will return.  Healing will come.

Was I surprised this morning when the doctor came in and said, “You’re doing well.  Why don’t we send you home?”  He didn’t get much argument from me. 

My IV had been in for the maximum time and was starting to swell.  A couple of hours later and I’d of had a new IV.  Ah, another of those small blessings that aren’t so small when it is being done on you.

We got home about noon and I catnapped some and worked some on the computer.  My, my how much we take for granted.  What a great thing to be able to walk across the room without having a hose in your nose or tied to an IV. 

This has been a tough thing for little Cooper.  Popaw hasn’t looked all that good lately when Cooper has seen me.  You could kind of see the relief on his little face this afternoon when I looked somewhat normal to him.  A “knuckles bump” from a two year-old goes a long way to heal a grandpa.

Had some folks over this evening for a while and that really helped.  People who believe in you is a great thing. 

These last couple of weeks have given me a much clearer picture on some things.  It is a strange picture because I see eternity far more clearly.  You’d think looking off in the distance would make you too heavenly minded to be any earthly good.  But that isn’t the case at all. 

Maybe I can illustrate it for you.  I once heard that a church whose mission outreach shines the farthest is the one that shines the brightest at home.  I think that is a great picture of Daybreak.  Our mission effort shines across the world through the missionaries we support.  But the vast majority of our mission work is right here in Central Kentucky.

Somehow that I what I see happening in my life.  As I get a much clearer picture that for me to live is Christ and to die is gain, that affects all of my life.   As I see eternity more clearly, I see today in a whole new light.  Seeing what will be the final chapter someday for every one of us makes me want to write better chapters in all of my life now. 

      The question is where do I begin?  Hum, Lord.  Maybe with You?